Cat Tales

...pusscat's read all the papers/ seen the movie and knows/ all the streets lead to somewhere/ and the pavement's gold....

Cat stories, to balance the knitting. Or maybe not.

We have the reverse of 'stuff on my cat' at our house. Clear surfaces? Check. Sunny windowsills? Check. Cozy comforter-covered beds? Check. Empty laps? Check.

Where's the cat?

On our stuff.

Given the choice between counter and computer, table and a pile of papers, chair to himself or one with a stack of magazines, bet you can guess which he'll choose.

We've finally learned to leave the copy/scan/fax machine in the OFF position, because of the CopyCat in our house. We had way, way too many furbutt photocopies. Who am I kidding? One is too many.

***

It's just before Easter, 2009. Hawk pulls into the Dana lot, where he leaves the BigTruck.

"Boy am I glad to see you!" says one of the truck-industry-support-folk. "You're an animal lover, right? C'mere, I wanna show you something."

Hawk is wary, but co-operative.

"We call him Trouble, but he's a loverboy, really. You gotta meet him."

He puts a skinny black kitten into my husband's arms. Hawk holds the cat face-up, and rubs his chest and tummy.

The kitten blinks yellow lamplight eyes and begins to purr.

A girl in the office had noticed an abandoned cat hanging around her home, and had put out food for it. Her mother had a fit, declaring that they already had one cat to feed, and that was enough. The girl captured the cat and brought it to the truckyard where, presumably, it survived on scraps leftover from lunches. But the Easter holiday was coming, and no one would be at the yard. And then there were the large actual feral cats. The truckyard folk feared for Trouble's life.

Hawk listens, and glances down at the cat in question. It has fallen asleep.

The first notice I have of an addition to our household is my husband's voice telling the kids (outside in the yard, playing on an unseasonably sunny day) that he has a friend he wants them to meet.

"But you have to be careful- he gets scared by loud noises."

Oh, great. He's brought home some drunk homeless guy.

"And he needs a bath. But I think you'll like him."

Okay, so now I'm prepared for a near-starving black dog. But it's this tiny tuxedoed cat wrapped in a dirty towel. Hawk engages in the aforementioned bathing activity.

Cat emerges clean, notably calm, and after an energetic rub with a towel, purring. And he has one more surprise for us.

This cat has extra toes.

Extra toes!



(Adam Ant; Puss 'N Boots)

Monday List

...one, two, three, four/ can I have a little more?/ five six seven-eight-nine-ten I love you....

1. Walk
2. Laugh
3. Compare hairstyles
4. Sweep
5. Complain about gas
6. Pour water
7. Wait patiently
8. Wonder what's causing the big fuss
9. Mimic expressions
10. Relax
11. Keep doing something well past the time you're tired of doing it
12. Employ a lint brush
13. Accept unconditional adoration


(Beatles; All Together Now)

Faceblogging? Lame.

...it's a thousand pages, give or take a few/ I'll be writing more in a week or two/ I can make it longer if you like the style/ I can change it round and I want to be a paperback writer....


The boom and patter of thunder and rain fail to resonate enough to dispel mental clouds, and the literal ones hang 'round past lunch. Sunshine, however sporadic, is welcome and cheering.

I haven't drowned myself in the bathtub yet. It's March, always a risky month.

I've stayed out of the tub, actually, just in case. Showers are somehow less satisfying. When I sleep, it's in the bed. I'm trying for 3 hour chunks: no more than 2 days a week of 3 hour sleeps, at least 2 days of 6 hour sleeps, and an attempt at 1 day of 9 hours.

They don't have to be all in a row, though. That may be cheating, but I don't think so. Three hours on the sofa accidentally followed by an hour of snack-n-surf, followed by three hours on purpose in the bed is, I believe, if my math is correct, (English Major- You Do The Math is not my T-shirt, but should be), is six hours. Requirement met.

I'm sorry to report (sorry to have to report) that my writing has been like spring rain: spitty and insignificant. Some of my recent entries- specifically, the haiku- have been posted as my FB status. Yes, poems, but, really? Haiku? And haiku FB status? Yes. It is lame. However, to my credit, I have been posting haiku status since the beginning of October, which was officially "Haiku FB Status Month", and have not returned to "wonders what's for dinner" since then.

The entire previous paragraph is absurd and will not withstand the test of time. It doesn't qualify as literature, humor or helpful information, and I would implore you to not read it except that it is already too late. I will try to redeem myself with the remainder of this entry.

This next, I fear, may but slightly mitigate (see that split infinitive there? I have the most famous split infinitive in the English language emblazoned on my license plate. Some of you will know what I mean) the weak and annoying nature of the material that has preceded it, or perhaps even contribute to it. The next following bit, though, may at least serve as illustration that one never knows what serves to knock one upside the head with the Muse-bat.

Mich: The birds are singing this morning! I want to go give them little scarves and hats.
Februarrry 5 roundabouts 6:57 in the mornin' · Arr!; Kimby J-S an' 7 other mateys be admirin' this. ·



Sis:
I'm sure Cyb can help you out with that...she's a knitting genius.
Februarrry 5 roundabouts 8:23 in the mornin' ·


Cyb:
Oh, sure. I'm some Disney character, knitting tiny hats and scarves, to set upon Mich's windowsill, while she's slaving over a teakettle. The little birds fly up to the sill, selecting knitwear of their favorite colors (ignoring my malevolent glow), while Mich pantomimes a warning to them. Then she pours my tea.
Februarrry 5 roundabouts 8:38 in the mornin' ·

Sis:
Like I said, genius
Februarrry 5 roundabouts 9:16 in the mornin'

Mich:
OMG, I really saw that in my head! Can I wear Aurora's dress??
Februarrry 5 roundabouts 9:48 in the mornin'

See what I mean?

But this next bit:

Once Upon An Ever After…

I'm knitting tiny hats and scarves
to set upon your windowsill
while you slave over a teakettle.
The little birds, oblivious to my
malevolent glow, fly up to the sill
selecting knitwear of their favorite colors.
You pantomime frantic warnings to them.
They do not understand.
And now you pour my tea.

Cybele Pomeroy, 5 February 2011

pro ear much like
min large head a dusky flapping
ent so large flag flag flag
pro it's a very large waving waving
boscis large large waving with
head no breeze
sharp tusk
not much
neck but
BIG
GIGANTIC
HEAVY
BODY
drum for a foot THAT
boom REQUIRES
boom CONSUMES
SO MUCH broom
FOOD a tiny
NO ONE tail
CAN KEEP for a
UP WITH ALL THE and
FEEDING
other sits on
foot a bright
boom colored bucket
boom for a funny trick -8 March 2011

There are serious formatting problems with the above, which I am not clever enough to solve. Those of you who are clever with the wordprocessing tools associated with Blogger/Google might give me helpful tidbits in the 'comments' section. Anyone who is still reading at all has my congratulations and admiration.

That was done as a demonstration for Fuzzy, who is taking a literature/writing class. It isn't much, just quick-n-dirty, but it came out better than I had expected(when the formatting worked).She was appropriately unimpressed.

(Fuzzy is twelve. People are astounded. When she was thirteen but looked three, people were impressed. When she was fifteen but looked nine, people were frightened. Now that she is twelve but looks eighteen, people are astounded. And nervous. This is a correct reaction. Fluffy is now old enough to drive. He isn't, yet, but he's old enough. Yes. Be amazed. Time... it's tricksy.)

This next, I wrote as a response to a rant about Creationists who want "Intelligent Design" taught in schools as science. I don't know if what I said is true, but I liked it.

Cave-dwellers will name their demons and deities, hoping to thereby tame them. It is perhaps a measure of human optimism, this attempt to control the uncontrollable.

You may quote me if you wish.


(The Beatles; Paperback Writer)

Swirley Hat

HatDesign
Originally uploaded by xoxcybele

Swirly Hat Pattern- adult medium- 21 ½ inches around

Use any size circular needle, at least 24" total length
Use any yarn you like.

Do a swatch test to determine whether yarn: needle ratio will give you a fabric density you like. You can also count stitches per inch, and measure your head. Depending on the thickness of your yarn, you will have more or fewer rounds, and more or fewer M1 stitches.

Cast on 8 in the round
Crown:
Round 1: knit
Round 2: *K1, M1 around
Round 3: Knit
Round 4: K2, M1 around
Round 5, and all odd rows: Knit
Round 6: K3, M1 around
Round 8: K4, M1 around
Round 10: K5, M1 around

{ continue adding 1 K stitch before an M1 in all even rounds and knitting all odd rounds until circle is at least 5" in diameter (across) }

{ for an Adult Small, 5" diameter circle when beginning the body of the hat;
Adult Medium, 5 ½" diameter; Adult Large, 6" diameter}

Turn of Crown:
Round 12: K6, M1 around
Round 13: Knit
Round 14: K7, M1 around
Round 15 Knit
Round 16: K8, M1 around
Round 17: Knit

{ Body of Hat: continue to make swirl pattern by doing M1, immediately followed by a decrease, in this case SSK. SSK leans to the left side, whereas K2tog leans right. You want a left leaning decrease. }
Body:
Round 18: SSK, K9, M1 around
Round 19: Knit
Round 20 and all even rounds: SSK, K9, M1 around
Round 21 and all odd rounds: Knit

{ continue until the body of the hat measures the length you need for head dimensions, usually 4 ½ - 5 ½ " in length, depending upon the size of the melon of the hat wearer }

Brim:
Switch to 3 x1 ribbing.
K3, P1
Work even until brim (ribbing) measures 1 ½". Cast off in ribbing pattern.

There will be a small hole at the top of this hat. Cover it with a pompon, patch, or appliqué, or leave it alone. It's not big enough to let your brains leak out, promise.

Something's Fishy

...packed like lemmings into shiny metal boxes....

I eat an entire tin of sardines on Triscuit crackers, squirting vulture cats with a spray bottle because I don't want to share. Halfway through my inhalation, I wonder whether this is a manifestation of some neurosis, nutritional deficiency or emotional baggage. I haven't even thought about sardines in... I don't know how long.

I pull my copy of Constant Craving, Doreen Virtue's book on the meanings of your food cravings. Nada. Sardines are not even mentioned. Chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream, however, has a significant entry.

I pull Joy Of Cooking, which has useful information about sardines, but only one recipe.

Frustrated, I dive into the 'net, always a risky business, as I mean to do things, but get distracted by the shiny internet and eventually wander away from the computer wondering what it was I meant to do, how I managed to spend $63.87 NOT doing it, and where the hell have the last four hours gone.

Wikipedia says of sardines, in part, this:

are rich in omega-3 fatty acids, which reduce the occurrence of cardiovascular disease. Recent studies suggest that regular consumption of omega-3 fatty acids reduces the likelihood of developing Alzheimer’s disease. These fatty acids may also help lower blood sugar levels a small amount. They are also a good source of vitamin D, calcium, B12, and protein.
Because they are low in the food chain, sardines are very low in contaminants such as mercury relative to other fish that are commonly eaten by humans.

Good to know. I certainly may be lacking in some of those nutritive areas. But I derive comfort from this post- the comments, rather than the entry itself.

On bread with mustard, with hard-boiled egg, drizzled in soy sauce, disguised as tuna salad, in hot sauce over rice- so many ways!- I never knew any way to eat them except out of the can on a cracker. Also striking was the memory-laden resonance of some of the serving suggestions:

Daddy and I would sit on the back porch (Mother would not allow sardines in the house) and smash sardines on Saltine crackers. I was about 5 and none of my siblings would touch them. Just me and my Dad. I hadn't thought about that until I read this piece today. I can hardly wait to get a can, sit on the back porch and think of my Dad, long gone, but those sardines were only thing that was "just us".

Evidently, I'm not the only one scarfing a whole can of sardines all by myself.

(Synchronicity II; The Police)

Vertical Stripes

...Duke, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl, Duke, Duke, Duke of Earl....

Hijacking my own blog for knitting-related purposes. Crocheters, needle-felters and non-crafters, move along. Nothing to see here.

Vertical Texture Stripes Cloth


Materials:

Size 5, 6, or 7 knitting needle
1 ball cotton yarn
crochet hook or tapestry needle for weaving in ends.

Cast on 33 stitches.

Hint for new-ish knitters: if you have been wondering what to do with those pretty dangly things that people call "stitch markers", this is a good piece for that! You will place a stitch marker (the abbreviation for that instruction: "PM") after each different section. You will have 5 sections: the right hand border, the right garter stripe, the center seed stitch stripe, the left garter stripe, and the left hand border. For this, you'll use 4 stitch markers. Place one after your right hand border, one after the right garter stripe, one after the center seed stripe, and one between the left garter stripe and the left border. Your knitting will be all fancified with jewelry. The stitch markers help you remember to switch stitch patterns instead of continuing in whatever stitch you're knitting.

Seed stitch bottom border:
Row 1: * knit 1, purl 1 *, repeat to last stitch, K 1.
Row 2: Repeat Row 1
Rows 3 – 10: Repeat Row 1
{Work in Seed Stitch for 10 rows total.}

Pattern:
Row 11: (K1, P1 * 3x) K1 {right hand border} [7 stitches], Place Marker ; K 6 {right garter stripe} [6 st], PM; (P1, K1) 3x, P1; {center seed stitch stripe} [7 st], PM ; K 6 {left garter stripe} [6 st], PM; (K1, P1 3x) K1 {left hand border} [7 st]

Row 12: Repeat Row 11

Rows 13- whatever: Repeat Row 11 until cloth is nearly square, or until you're sick of it, for a towel instead of a washcloth, or an afghan panel, or a scarf- really, it could be almost anything you want except an ashtray or an orangutan.

Seed stitch 10 rows for top border; cast off; weave in ends to finish.


Seed stitch: Knit one, purl one, knit one, purl one.
On reverse side, knit all purled stitches, and
purl all knit ones. This creates a dense bumpy fabric that lies flat and doesn't curl.

Garter stitch: Knit every stitch. On the other side, knit every stitch.

In other news.... there is no other news. It's January, in Baltimore, which equals flat-out misery, with February to endure yet. I'm lucky to still be alive.

(Gene Chandler, Duke of Earl)

Recent Haiku

...though I respect that a lot/ I'd be fired if that were my job/ after killing Jason off and countless screaming Argonauts....


Whole couch here, but cat
keeps scootching to lie upon
my cashmere sweater.
(Jan. 19)

Feral clowder in
backyard. Tender heart child is
Feeding Goddess. Mrow!
(Jan. 17)

distill my life in-
to two pages; will I fit?
vicious resume.
(Jan. 8)

Toothpaste cap beneath
our Christmas tree- wonder,
but then: Pounce! the cat.
(Dec. 28)

Solstice eclipse of
the moon, wow! Clear, cold; the dogs
have called it a night.
(Dec. 21)

Tires hum, ponder
weather, traffic, bowling ball
on the highway. What?
(Dec. 14)

(They Might Be Giants; Birdhouse In Your Soul)