23 November, 2009

Linguistic Exception

...man, you should have seen them kicking Edgar Allan Poe/ I am the eggman, they are the eggmen/ I am the walrus/ goo goo g'joob g'goo goo g'joob.....

Being that I am an unabashed Grammar Geek, I use the word 'prepare' when I am cooking meals. It grates harsh fingernails across the nape of my chalkboard neck to hear someone offer to 'fix something to eat.'

This applies to lunch, dinner, snacks... even breakfast.

Unless it's eggs.

Because you had to break them, yeah?

(I Am The Walrus; The Beatles)

21 November, 2009

Something Old

...we will be fine/ Apollo 9/ even though NASA say we out of line....

From the archives... and they are considerable... a half-buried treasure.

Sixty Nine Reasons A Blogger Isn't Blogging

1. Writer's block.
2. The computer blew up.
3. Someone we don't like has been reading our blog
4. Too many people have been reading our blog.
5. No one at all is reading our blog.
6. The computer blew up.
7. The kitchen is being remodeled.
8. The cat had kittens....again.
9. Somebody is sick.
10. Somebody is in from out of town.
11. Somebody died.
12. The computer blew up.
13. Really excellent reading, that is to say, books.
14. The weather.
15. Broken arm.
16. Broken leg.
17. Broken arm AND broken leg.
18. Someone else is using the #@%&*! computer.
19. 'Days Of Our Lives' is on.
20. 'Oprah' is on.
21. 'Rocky MXLVI' is on.
22. Depression.
23. Hypersomnia.
24. The computer blew up.
25. The kids need something.
26. The dog needs something.
27. Shoe shopping.
28. Nails are too long.
29. Carpal Tunnel Syndrome.
30. The computer blew up.
31. We want to be really witty on our blog, but are short on wit.
32. Learning to knit.
33. Telephone lines are down.
34. The ISP got absorbed by another company.
35. Car trouble.
36. Secret spy missions.
37. Good sex, often.
38. Bad sex, too often.
39. No sex at all, suspect dysfunction.
40. The computer blew up.
41. A virus.
42. An anti-virus.
43. The Anti-Christ.
44. The Second Coming.
45. Chocolate binge.
46. Re-acquaintance with old school chums.
47. Vegetative state, temporary.
48. Vegetative state, permanent.
49. Cat scratch fever.
50. Lyme's disease.
51. Lou Gherig's disease.
52. Industrial disease.
53. Dysmorphia.
54. Tax season.
55. The computer blew up.
56. Incontinence.
57. Can't find a chair.
58. Forgot how to type.
59. Dog ate our homework.
60. Publisher's Clearinghouse arrived with a check.
61. The cops came to shut the party down.
62. Temporary insanity.
63. Permanent insanity.
64. Amnesia.
65. Overactive bladder.
66. Overactive imagination.
67. Kidnapped by aliens.
68. Dead in a ditch.
69. The computer blew up.

Is it plagiarism if I steal from myself? I like to think of it as recycling. The original date on this is 1 February 2005, which is not the END of my archives, ladies and gentleman, no INDEED. It is the MIDDLE.

I may never be a famous blogger. I may never be a wealthy blogger. I may never be a blogger with a book deal. What I may be is the Last Blogger Standing.

I'll be up against Wil Wheaton. His archives go back to July 2001.

If you go back to his second, reconstructed blog.

"CrushWorld: Last Of The Original Blogs."

So go on to your tweety-weeties and your facey-spaceys.

I will just sit back and wait.

(Apollo 9, Adam and the Ants)

18 November, 2009

Strange Ringmates

...won't be long now/ getting strong now/ Gonna fly now/ flying high now....

Those of you who follow Primarily Decorative (hi, Mom!) may recall that she's a big fan of juxtaposition. Therefore it will come as no surprise that her newest fascination is Chess Boxing.

Brains! Brutality! Bare chests! Also, an accordian.

Okay, that's about enough excitement for a cloudy Wednesday morning.

(Gonna Fly Now-Theme from "Rocky"; Bill Conti)

03 November, 2009

Prompt, Return.

...If you want to destroy my sweater/ Hold this thread as I walk away/ As I walk away/ Watch me unravel, I'll soon be naked.....

It's not that I haven't been writing; it's that I haven't been writing HERE. I guess I need/want more interaction, and I've not felt as if I was dancing for anyone but myself here. So I've been on a weirdly wonderful site for fibre artists which has resources, but also groups and forum boards. They sucked me in the way chat rooms never did.

Posted today to the "Poets And Writers Who Knit" group.

Write something without using the letter ‘e’ at all.

Write a day from the point of view of the dog. Or the lawn chair. Or the homeless person on the bench.

Write a piece with words that smell or taste.

Write a letter to your favorite (dead person, fictional character, angel, pet) then mail it to yourself.

Write with your non-dominant hand.

Write your own obituary. Write your own eulogy. Put them with your Will.

Write a business letter entirely in LOLcat.

Write based on a word chosen at random from the dictionary.

Write like Yoda.

Write a paragraph that ‘sounds like’: the swishing of leaves, the clatter of the city, the roar of the ocean.

Write like Charlotte Bronte.

Write something beautiful about something ugly.

Write the reverse of a suicide letter: I’ve decided to live because….

Write like Yoda attempting Bronte.

Write the shopping list of a villain, real or fictional.

Write a love letter to your favorite body part.

Write me a message if any of these are helpful.

I suppose I haven't actually been blocked, just blocked for the sort of thing I generally post here.

Working through that, though with this list of prompts, one would think I've no excuse for blockage at all.

(Undone (The Sweater Song); Weezer)

01 November, 2009

More Postponing

...I'm a sinner, I'm a saint/ I do not feel ashamed/ I'm your hell, I'm your dream/ I'm nothing in between....

Look at this:

The second annual November PAD (Poem-A-Day) Chapbook Challenge begins on November 1 at my Poetic Asides blog. Throughout the month of November, I'll provide the prompts (and my own attempts at poems); you respond with your own poem in a super inspiring and supportive writing atmosphere.

Then, poets spend the month of December revising and organizing their November poems into a manuscript of 10-20 pages of poetry, which are then submitted to me. On Groundhog Day 2010, I'll announce a winner (last year, it was Shann Palmer).

Come join in the fun November 1. You can participate every day or randomly. There aren't any hard and fast rules or attitudes. It's all about the poeming!


(beware: broken link.)

With winners announced on Groundhog Day. Are you kidding? I MUST do this.

So I will be at my poetry blog, hoping to write my way through the pile of frozen dead that's been blocking me for... a year? Yes, or more. I admit.

Patience, Mother

Ah, the smug self-satisfied
assurance of the 14 year old boy. Ah, the prevalence
of those who will not ever mature past it. Ah, the
joy of knowing
people who are not
14 year old boys. Ah,
the worry that THIS boy
will NOT outgrow 14,
even if I let him live.

1 November 2009

Nobody said that they had to all be GOOD poems.

(Bitch; Meredith Brooks)