It's my fault. I'll get that out of the way right now.
Look, he needed a better car, HAS been needing one for several years, but the stupid old Mitsubishi Lancer just refused to flat out die.
It leaks oil from almost literally everywhere, the engine mounts are cracked, it can't pass emissions inspection... but it still runs. It gets up to speed pretty quickly. The heat and the air conditioner both work GREAT. The radio gets the sports station.
My mechanic said it would be $5K to fix it "...and that's just what we can see. Once we get into it, it could be more than that. MUCH more than that." It was marked on the paperwork as Unsafe To Drive, and they didn't even deem it worth an oil change. Still, I drove it twice that week to DC and back for gigs, and have been driving it around town carefully since then, with "You're about twelve good potholes away from that engine being on the highway" ringing in my mind as I do so.
It's a 2006 that his mother bought used, beat to hell because she's a terrible driver, and then gave to him when she moved to Arizona. It continues to get better than 25 miles to the gallon and has 291,000 (and change) miles on it right now, so it doesn't owe us a dime.
So I started shopping. I shopped for the thing he said he wanted. I shopped for things I hoped he would accept as acceptable, or even pleasant. For some reason, he has a bias against Toyotas. He's similarly biased against Hondas, though slightly less so. Never mind, they're running very high right now anyway. Car scarcity, resale value, perceived worth and so on.
What I want for him is something safe, with low miles on it, high fuel efficiency, good sightlines, that he won't resent driving, that he feels is NICE. "I'm tired of driving crap cars," he said. Dude, you bought cars without consulting me several times. You bought a Jeep from some shady folk just because the AC ran real cold. And were surprised when it suddenly died. Come ON.
I researched the HELL out of Honda CRV before choosing one that had a moderate price tag, was seven years old, with only 26K on it. That is a great car. I could find another- but he says he hates the sightlines. So we won't be a 2 CRV family. He doesn't really want an SUV. He wants a sedan. And he wants leather interior. Mine's leather, so I get that.
He agreed to drive the Mazda CX5 in addition to Mazda 6 that he had decided was the best match. The Mazda CX5 he agreed was solid and not terrible, and also not really so much an SUV as a pregnant hatchback. It was a decent car. We drove a Mazda 6, low miles, leather interior, stickshift. Very nice. But, stickshift. He CAN. But his knees.... he'd rather not.
I surprised him by showing him a Lexus ES 350. I did this because Consumer Reports LOVES the Lexus. Almost every model, almost every year, from 2005 through 2020, almost without exception. They're pricey. Possibly too pricey. But a test drive isn't a commitment, right? RIGHT?
Well. He flat out LOVES the Lexus ES. The moonroof. The leather seats. The little joystick near the gear shifter that moves the cursor on the interactive screen. He drove also a Lexus RX (another a pregnant hatchback) and likes it fine, only not as much as the sedan. He tried an IS, but it was too small. He bumped his head getting into it, and once he was in, his head touched the ceiling. He's not particularly large, but he's too big for an IS.
We've found a Mazda 6 that checks ALL the boxes, in the price range we were targeting. WITH leather interior, AND a moonroof. He hesitates. He really wants the Lexus ES. Our insurance company was NO help, coming in with similar numbers to insure each of the models he likes best. He's only just barely considering that the Mazda 6 gets nearly 10 miles per gallon more than the ES, because he likes the poshness of the Lexus. He feels he deserves a car with a certain amount of poshness, at his age. I'm not arguing that, not at all. But ...ten miles. Per gallon.
Several months ago, he and I jointly managed to talk Pugsley out of a Dodge Charger (not widely available, poor mileage, overpriced and THE most stolen car in the United States right now) and into a Mazda 3. Which Pugsley agreed, after awhile and several test drives of different makes/ models, was a better fit for him, and he kind of fell in love with it. He's very happy with mileage around 28/36, and it has a pretty good sound system.
I felt like we were making headway towards replacing the Mitsu, then early Saturday morning, when I had another gig in DC, the CRV started up with a horrible, no-muffler blast. I went to the gig, did 3 hours on stilts, drove home in DC traffic, and investigated after I parked.
Someone had cut out my catalytic converter overnight. The police came, made a report. The insurance company said it would be covered, minus my deductible. It's even considered "no fault" since it was vandalism. I hope that means my rates won't go up because of it.
In any case, our search is more fraught than it was last week, because not only do we have the deductible to pay, no insurance adjuster is even available to inspect the car and approve the repairs. They'll get back to me with an update within 5 business days. NOT get to the inspection in 5 days, no. Just... an UPDATE. Which, since Honda is running 3 months lead time on parts anyway is a drop in the bucket, right? So Gomez was going to put a temporary pipe on for me, to quiet the noise.
The thief not only cut but also damaged the pipe, so it's not round anymore. The fix Gomez planned to do won't work. I'll be driving that thing with noise and fumes assaulting me for... well, who even knows how long?
Our car search now has an edge of desperation- at least for me- while he merrily drives the quiet Mitzu with the wobbly engine, blithely confident that it will hold up for him until the perfect car magically appears and makes everyone happy. It'll be a Lexus that has about 72,000 miles on it, and, by some dark magic, gets 25 miles per gallon. It'll be in his price range, he'll be approved for a loan and can afford the payments.
Please, I beg you, for the love of everything you and I both hold dear...
...do NOT tell him it's a Toyota.
Gary Numan; Cars
