07 December, 2005

Observational Quintet

You can observe a lot by watching. --Yogi Berra

1. No one thinks funerals are fun. And yet many people find it necessary to state "I hate funerals." Nobody goes to funerals for the food and booze. On this topic, Yogi Berra says, always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't go to yours.

2. Dogs and cats are not supposed to be alike, however there are dogs that are more like cats and dogs that are more like dogs. Also there are cats that are more like dogs and cats that are more like cats. This is not logical, but it is often true.

3.I think it unreasonable that to open a new cello-wrapped box of tea I need to actually resort to using a knife.

4. Disappointment lurks around every corner. The trick is to keep expectations fairly low and be prepared to be amused by the mundane.

5. The grocery store is only very slightly more entertaining after a few beers.


Sestree said...

Unfortunately, I had to make my grocery store quit drinking altogether as it was become too entertaining.

Paul said...

I detest funerals, and really don't want my family to hold one for me. If they want to get together and remember me, great- but don't hold a big event for disposing of whatever is left of my body. At that point I'm not going to care what happens to it, because I'll be done with it. I'd rather have anything useful (like eyes) be harvested, and the rest cremated. But that's up to them, not me.

Grocery stores can be a lot of fun, really. I sometimes pick up heads of Romaine lettuce and do a rain dance with them- it's the one time you can be certain that your rain dance will work, especially if you hold it over your head.

Using a knife on a tea package is not anywhere near as bad as coming downstairs in the morning, not awake, and trying to get just one coffee filter out. I've been known to beat the filters against the wall and scream bad words at them.

And I'm glad that my cat is so feline. It makes her much more fun to snuggle when I sleep.

Cybele said...

Sestree, thanks for making a grammatically ambiguous sentence even more murky.

Paul, I promise to not bring flowers to your not-funeral.

Robert said...

Cybele - I agree about #3 - I think it's a mostly American thing though.

I like being slighlty tipsy in grocery stores. Or, even more fun - BOOKstores. My bestest friend and I used to eat at a great mexican dive joint that servers fantastic (and huge and potent) margaritas, then we'd walk over to the nearby B&N, browse and try (rather unsuccessfully) to be very quiet.

As for funerals... I quite like them actually. I mean, they're sad and all that, of course, but I always ALWAYS leave a funeral feeling grateful and with a renewed determination to enjoy life. And what could be more wonderful than that?

I'd like my funeral to be a very merry booze-up attended by all my friends, and maybe a few strangers too.

el sid said...

i hate funerals. i'll go to them, because that's the polite thing to do, but i won't have one of my own. no way. i'll have a wake. a wake is good enough for me.

the problem is that the grocery store isn't interesting enough when you're drunk, but WAY too interesting when you're stoned.

Cybele said...

Robert, I make altogether too much noise in bookstores giggling at improbable titles when I'm stone cold sober.

Sid, I think a wake is a great idea. I'll have mine while I'm alive, though, so as to enjoy hanging out with my friends one last time, and somebody can off me afterwards.