06 February, 2006

Corpulent; Corpse-like

...man comes on the radio/And he’s tellin’ me more and more/About some useless information/Supposed to fire my imagination.....

Who exactly are we honoring today? We are honoring: New Orleans, black women from Detroit, black women musicians from Detroit, male musicians from New Orleans, our troops, salsa and chips, boobies, Dr. Seuss, football, cars, ancient English musicians, American excess, boobies, Detroit, Disney World, beer, John Madden, and boobies.

Honestly, other than the Vegas-style Burger King commercial, the whole ordeal was extremely disappointing.

There was a game, but you'd hardly know it.

The wizened rocker wraiths in the middle versus the chubby wholesome anthemists at the beginning almost seemed an advertisment for fast living and drug use. I mean, they looked like animated egyptian mummies, but those old fucks could move.

By the way, what is up with English artists two years in a row? Gimmie back American Janet and her well-dressed boobie, thanks.

And please, if you're going to take the time to secure rights to Dr. Seuss' Oh, The Places You'll Go and spend serious money on Harrison Ford (?!) could you please, please, take the time to correct the metre in the final line of the bastardized poem?

Ruined the whole thing for me. I am so not joking. Next year, I'm watching the Lingerie Bowl.

Or maybe I'll play.

(Satisfaction; The Rolling Stones)


Paul said...

Yes, you should definitely be a participant! I'll be right there on the 50 yard line, beer in hand, cheering every time you run. And I'll even have a pitcher of margaritas waiting for you when you finish!

(And now I have this image of you in lingerie and mime paint, distracting your opponents by throwing a flaming football...)

el sid said...

i think the lingerie bowl sounds a little more interesting, too.

the rolling stones... man, i could not get over how much they sucked. yeah, mick still had his moves, but they... they don't seem right on him anymore... they were all dressed up lookin' like a geriatric Green Day and they were dropping notes and GAH sounded like shit. my sister, who loves the stones (as do i... 70's and before only, though...) gave me crap about blasting the stone's performance, but.. i'm sorry. it was painful to watch. it made my eyes and my ears hurt. and other, deeper parts of me...

Anonymous said...

Yup, yup was a little... flaccid... wasn't it? I was distinctly underwhelmed by the whole event.

Lingerie Bowl huh? Mmmmm, yes... the possibilities. I'm new to American sports, so I think you can't get to 1st base or 3rd base in football, right? But maybe the Lingerie Bowl will chaneg all that...

Cybele said...

Paul, you're not so far off the mark- Gigi and I are considering a pinup calendar, in which we wear paint and not much else.

Sidra, agreed. They were awful. And still in their awfulness, much better than the Franklin/Neville/choir monstrosity.

Robert, flaccid is a great word. In the lingerie bowl, you can come at least to first base with me ANYTIME. (First Base is holding hands, right?)

Anonymous said...

Hey, don't ask me which base is which.. I don't understand American sports. Or sports metaphors.

But whatever it is, yes, I'd like to go to first base with you. :)