...Oh, why/I'd pay the devil to replace her/ She's gone, she's gone/ Oh, why/ What went wrong....
Things said to me at her funeral:
"She's in a better place."
"You need to get a book instead of asking me, because I have no idea."
"If you lose fifteen pounds, you will be diagnosable."
"I still have my copy of Woman's World, the one you wrote the article for? I opened up my mailbox one day and went, hey, that's my cousin!"
"That woman needs to get some different shoes to wear with that outfit."
Things I did not say at her funeral:
Has the guest of honor arrived yet?
What do y'all want done with your bodies when you're dead? Because I personally do not want to be laid out in makeup and formaldehyde like some crackwhore science project.
You know, I had to talk myself into wearing underwear for this event.
(She's Gone; Hall and Oates)