Monday List

...You really know how to dance/ when you go up, down jump around/ talk about true romance, yeah/ keep on whispering in my ear/ tell me all the things I wanna hear/ cuz it's true....

flower vase
saving business cards
mixing cinnamon and sugar
knitting needle display
storing pasta
measuring liquids, when there are markings
keeping safety pins
holding favorite fortunes from cookies
improvised snow globe using vegetable oil and glitter
button storage
magnifier
sourdough bread starter
layers of dirt or sand from different destinations
drinking vessel
tiny landscape paperweight
denture soaking
keeping modeling clay moist
butter maker, using heavy cream
catching fireflies

Answer on Tuesday, if anyone asks.


(What I Like About You; The Kinks)

Howard's Secret

You want the secret of life? Here it is: You wake up in the morning. You eat a little breakfast, maybe read the newspaper. If you're lucky enough, you're married. You yell at your wife, you make up with your wife. If your testicles feel alright, you bang your wife. You watch a video you rented or maybe you go out to the movies. The secret of life is so simple. That's life. If you have kids, you live with the kids. You don't move out on your wife. You stay with her even if you've banged her nine thousand times and you're sick of it. Nobody follows that. That's the secret to life. -- Howard Stern, from Private Parts, 1993.


Even Howard Stern didn't follow that. So far, though, it's been working for me. I'll post an update in a decade or so, to report on long-term value of this.

In celebration of the impending weekend, suggested entertainment variations for couples.

Wearing a red nightie and red pumps.

In the shower.

In the guest room.

In his long-sleeved shirt and nothing else.

In the caaaaaar.

Outside.

Almost all the way dressed.

All the way undressed, except for socks.

With dessert toppings.

Under the table.

On top of the table.

While watching in the bathroom mirror.

Silently.

LOUDLY.

Wearing matchy-matchy bra and panties with long satin robe.

With ALL the toys.

With no toys at all.

With no hands.

While a camcorder is running. (erase later, after watching)

In a short plaid skirt and white button-up oxford.

On top of a furry rug or sheepskin.

On top of your yarn-stash (wait, eww; nevermind)

With blindfolds.

Black skirt, white frilly apron, fishnet stockings and a (clean) feather duster. French accent optional.

You or your partner can thank me later.


why, yes, I HAVE been banging the same fella for 26 years; why do you ask?

Bathroom Scribbles

...I know you think I'm like the others before/ who saw your name and number on the wall....

I promise myself I will brush it before I leave for South Carolina. Then I promise to brush it before I arrive in South Carolina. I have left South Carolina for Georgia, hair still unbrushed, promising to brush it before I return to South Carolina.

Three days later, back in South Carolina, I finally brush my hair.

******


Toilets that flush automatically do not per se irritate me, though being deemed by an inantimate object as too stupid to remember to flush is ipso facto objectionable.

No, what chaps my ass is the judgmental "pheeeewww" sound they make just BEFORE they flush.


(Tommy Tutone; 8675309/Jenny)

Other Word

...Lincoln, Lincoln bo Bincoln Bonana fanna fo Fincoln/ Fee fy mo Mincoln, Lincoln!....

Musical Names That Are Okay To Name Your Kid:

Dylan
Avalon
Donovan
Bette
Gabriel
Z. Z.
Moby
Alice
Propellerhead
Queen
Duran
Lena
Coltrane
Asia
Santana
Kenny
Deon
Zydeco
Ringo
Yaz

Musical Names To NOT Name Your Kid:

Bon Jovi
Mellencamp
BowWowWow
VanGellis
Van Halen
Hammer
Dolly
Yardbird
U2
Pretender
LadyGaga
Devo
OingoBoingo
Temptation
Godsmack
Bowser
ChumbaWumba
Poison
GoogooDoll
KISS
Chubby
Ice
Squirrel Nut
Domino
Manilli
Englebert
Offspring

I was notified that the "NOT" list was a great compilation of names for cats. Because who DOESN'T want cats named Yardbird, Poison and Squirrel Nut?

In all honesty, I wasn't sure which list Propellerhead belonged. But then sanity won, and now I'm gleefully imagining an adorable sweetcheeked baby named Propellerhead Winchester.

I hope it's a girl.

(The Name Game; Shirley Ellis)

Poetic License

...I love every movement/ there's nothing I would change/ she doesn't need improvement/ she's much too nice to rearrange....


I'd like to think you've missed me, but I try to not lie to myself. Lying is for work hours.

The pile of frozen bodies in the back of my mind, at the forefront of my consciousness, has made writing rather more difficult. Some writing, that is to say. The poetry has been going nuts. I am pretty certain I've enough material to have a decent submission to MSAC this year, and my most recent Featured Poet event (on the same day I forgot to show up for Jury Duty; whoops) garnered me this embarrassingly positive review.

Cybele Pomeroy’s live performance defines tour-de-force. Her genuine and engaging style runs the gamut from poignant to comedic, erudite to earthy, sexy to philosophical, animated to controlled and with plenty of wry wit. Pomeroy is a member of that select group of poets who can effortlessly entertain an audience without sacrificing poetic integrity. If anything, her delivery only amplifies the quality of her work; tones that would ring true whether broadcast in an amphitheatre, read silently from the page or whispered in a lover’s ear. In any literary medium, Pomeroy proves she is the real McCoy. ~ M. S. Sanders
June 2 at 11:24pm

I post it here, not out of vanity, as some of you might (incorrectly!) imagine, but so that next time I'm asked to write about myself in the third person ("...and we'll need a bio by Thursday...") I can simply yank a sentence or two from it, instead of scrabbling around cobbling together a monstrosoty like this:

Cybele Pomeroy is described as overly arty (Judy Rousuck, Baltimore Sun), campy and eclectic (Hawk), a little black convertible with dangerous fenders (Fluffy), diaphanous circling Saturn (Mary Bargteil) and a fire-flavored popsicle (Cliff Lynn). She's been writing poetry since she could hold a crayon, and never properly learned to censor herself. She's equally proud of her seventeen minute limerick operetta, DON JUAN THE IGUANA, and her endurance-length WATERGATE! THE MUSICAL, both produced for audiences that were clearly baffled, but often bafflingly delighted. She's been a proficient dabbler for many years; despite this, various publications including Poet's Ink, Scribble Magazine and Baltimore City Paper have seen fit to publish some of her poetry.

And so my next point. Insofar as live readings, I can rock the house. I can tell which poems are getting good response, and which ones not so much. But that's live.

How can I imagine which poems transcend and breathe into my reader's heart from the flatness of a page?

(Poetry In Motion; Johnny Tillotson)

Eating It

...it's a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in bacon...mmmmmmm....


Deviled Egg Salad:

Boiled Eggs
Mayonaisse
Dijon mustard
Paprika
Salt n pepper
parsley
horseradish
3 or 4 Stalks of celery, including leaves

Boil eggs ( I used a dozen) let cool, peel and chop them with the celery. Add herbs and spices (juist a LITTLE horseradish!) Add 3 parts mayo, 1 part sour cream, 1 part dijon mustard, stir until lumpy. Adjust seasonings as needed.

Salmon-Dill Spread:

1 block of cream cheese, softened
1 can salmon, drained and bones removed (your pussy will be very happy!)
Dill

Blend salmon into cream cheese gradually, adding dill unitl it seems about right. Store in a plastic box with a lid. Serve with crackers or bagels.

Favorite Sandwiches:

Grilled cheddar and tomato on wheat.

RUEBEN!

Cream cheese -n- olive on an Everything bagel.

Peanut butter and cucumber.

Egg salad with lettuce on pumpernickel.

Traveling Troll:

sliced avocado, muenster cheese, alfalfa sprouts on 12 grain bread spread with Caesar dressing.
add tomato or cucumber slices.
subtract Caesar dressing; use tatziki instead.

tatziki dressing : (much more complicated than the Troll Itself)
the secret to make thick gyro sauce.... moisture (water) will make the sauce run thin.

Ingredients
8 oz. plain yogurt (not low-fat)
1 medium cucumber
1/8 teaspoon white pepper or 1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon white sugar
2 tablespoon dill
2 peeled garlic cloves, finely minced
Juice of 1/2 lemon

The night before making Tzatziki, place the yogurt in a paper towel lined strainer over another bowl and leave it in the fridge overnight. This thicker yogurt-cheese is the perfect consistency for Tzatziki. This step is not necessary if using Greek yogurt.
Peel and seed the cucumber. Place the cucumbers in a strainer over a bowl and cover with salt. This will leech out a lot of the water and help assure you have a thick sauce.

Place chopped cucumber in a small bowl
stir in garlic , lemon juice, salt, sugar, black pepper, dill.
Gently blend in yogurt; do not over-mix.
Cover bowl and immediately place in refrigerator
leave undisturbed for 24 hours so the ingredients blend and sauce re-thickens (keep chilled)
Makes about 2 cups