...do what they say, say what you mean, one thing leads to another...
As I finish at the gas station, a man approaches.
Accustomed as I am to my 'hood, I assume he is going to ask me for change that he will pretend is for bus fare. I get in my car before he does more than open his mouth. I turn the ignition switch, preparing to exit. He gets into his car, starts the engine, pulls away from the curb. He looks out his open window.
Oh. Maybe he's not a panhandler. Maybe he wanted directions. I unroll my window.
Yes?
"Oh, miss, I was jus' gonna ax, are you single?"
(What? You have got to be kidding me. I haven't combed my hair today, and I'm not wearing makeup.)
I shake my head.
Not for twenty years.
"Oh. Oh! Cuz I wuz, I wuz, gonna take you to the mooovies."
Were ya now.
Sorry. Thanks, though. I drive away.
I appreciate the straightforward directness. Saves time and confusion.
(One Thing Leads to Another; The Fixx)
23 November, 2007
07 November, 2007
Coming Attractions
...No more rehearsing and nursing a part/ We know every part by heart/ Overture, curtains, lights/ This is it, you'll hit the heights/ And oh what heights we'll hit/ On with the show this is it ....
This weekend, November 9th and 10th, Do Or Die presents Death Warmed Over at Spotlighter's Theatre. See me as someone perky in a bright yellow jacket! Showtimes are 8 PM Friday and Saturday nights.
Next weekend, November 16th and 17th, Death By Turkey comes to the Chesapeake Arts Center. This show is a period piece set in the 1950s, when men wore suits and women vacuumed in pearls. See me as someone perky in a black taffeta skirt! Showtimes are 8 PM Friday and Saturday nights.
You missed out seeing me as the deranged daughter (Sunday at Fabulous Whispers) and the crazy cat lady (Tuesday at Belmont Manor) in The Legend of Creepy Hollow. Well, except for Stephanie. She didn't miss out.
Friday November 30, Saturday December 1 and Sunday December 2, Fuzzy appears in the Baltimore School for the Arts' production of The Nutcracker Ballet, 7 PM Friday and Saturday nights, and Saturday and Sunday matinees at 3 PM. She will not appear in the second weekend's performances, as she and Fluffy are both otherwise committed.
Yes, that's right: Fluff and Fuzz appear onstage together again in the Hack and Slash Christmas Special. I will be there in some capacity, though nobody's yet given me a job description. Other performers include Hack and Slash, Broon and Moonie(actually Moonie and Broon, and requires Flash), the Pickled Punks, a couple of Washing Well Wenches, and The Renaissance Man. Wear your pajamas.This is probably not the pajama set I will wear, but I won't wear anything like this, either.
(This Is It! [Bugs Bunny Overture]; Mack David and Jerry Livingston)
This weekend, November 9th and 10th, Do Or Die presents Death Warmed Over at Spotlighter's Theatre. See me as someone perky in a bright yellow jacket! Showtimes are 8 PM Friday and Saturday nights.
Next weekend, November 16th and 17th, Death By Turkey comes to the Chesapeake Arts Center. This show is a period piece set in the 1950s, when men wore suits and women vacuumed in pearls. See me as someone perky in a black taffeta skirt! Showtimes are 8 PM Friday and Saturday nights.
You missed out seeing me as the deranged daughter (Sunday at Fabulous Whispers) and the crazy cat lady (Tuesday at Belmont Manor) in The Legend of Creepy Hollow. Well, except for Stephanie. She didn't miss out.
Friday November 30, Saturday December 1 and Sunday December 2, Fuzzy appears in the Baltimore School for the Arts' production of The Nutcracker Ballet, 7 PM Friday and Saturday nights, and Saturday and Sunday matinees at 3 PM. She will not appear in the second weekend's performances, as she and Fluffy are both otherwise committed.
Yes, that's right: Fluff and Fuzz appear onstage together again in the Hack and Slash Christmas Special. I will be there in some capacity, though nobody's yet given me a job description. Other performers include Hack and Slash, Broon and Moonie(actually Moonie and Broon, and requires Flash), the Pickled Punks, a couple of Washing Well Wenches, and The Renaissance Man. Wear your pajamas.This is probably not the pajama set I will wear, but I won't wear anything like this, either.
(This Is It! [Bugs Bunny Overture]; Mack David and Jerry Livingston)
12 October, 2007
Adios, Avocado
...See you later alligator, after 'while crocodile/ See you later alligator/ So long, that's all/ Goodbye....
"Mama, why did you not throw this away?"
I can't see what 'this' is from here. What have you got?
Fuzzy enters with a light brown orb. I frown at it.
"It's the brain from your alligator head. Why did you leave it on the table?"
Now I know what I'm looking at.
When I cut the avocado open, the pit popped out and rolled away, and I forgot about it. Sorry.
I call them, southern-style, 'alligator pears'. The brain. Of the alligator head. Of course. I snicker as I consign this 'brain' to the trash.
She sighs deeply at my idocy.
It's going to be 'that' sort of a day when dressing goes like this: bra, panties, left shoe, trousers, right shoe. And then, downstairs, noticing that I sort of need a shirt.
Y'all go on and complain about the heat, but Primarily Decorative has been enjoying an extended Naked Season.
She does, however, draw the line at (shudder) white shoes.
If you haven't made it out to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this gorgeous season, you should hurry. Hey, Nunnie, Nunnie has already left the building. This is the final weekend for Hack and Slash. The Mediaeval Baebes will be here next weekend, and both Wolgemut and Puke and Snot have already arrived. This weekend, next weekend, and THAT'S IT, PEOPLE. C'mon.
(Seey You Later, Alligator; Bill Haley and his Comets)
"Mama, why did you not throw this away?"
I can't see what 'this' is from here. What have you got?
Fuzzy enters with a light brown orb. I frown at it.
"It's the brain from your alligator head. Why did you leave it on the table?"
Now I know what I'm looking at.
When I cut the avocado open, the pit popped out and rolled away, and I forgot about it. Sorry.
I call them, southern-style, 'alligator pears'. The brain. Of the alligator head. Of course. I snicker as I consign this 'brain' to the trash.
She sighs deeply at my idocy.
It's going to be 'that' sort of a day when dressing goes like this: bra, panties, left shoe, trousers, right shoe. And then, downstairs, noticing that I sort of need a shirt.
Y'all go on and complain about the heat, but Primarily Decorative has been enjoying an extended Naked Season.
She does, however, draw the line at (shudder) white shoes.
If you haven't made it out to the Maryland Renaissance Festival this gorgeous season, you should hurry. Hey, Nunnie, Nunnie has already left the building. This is the final weekend for Hack and Slash. The Mediaeval Baebes will be here next weekend, and both Wolgemut and Puke and Snot have already arrived. This weekend, next weekend, and THAT'S IT, PEOPLE. C'mon.
(Seey You Later, Alligator; Bill Haley and his Comets)
28 September, 2007
Wait, What?
...it's a mystery, wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in bacon...mmmm, bacon....
Embarrassing: Having the theme to 'Knight Rider' as your ringtone.
More embarrassing: NOT having the theme to 'Knight Rider' as your ringtone, but recognizing it anyway.
Those of you who have not yet had your annual Mimi fix need to hustle your butts. We have four weekends left. Lurk is in China for the next two weekends, but Hilby arrives tomorrow, and Lurk returns for the final two. Rumor has it that Puke and Snot will appear. The Arial Angels have landed, but so far the patrons remain safe.
The weather continues to be spectacular. I'll see you on site. You won't need me to wear a red carnation; I think you'll manage to recognize me.
Embarrassing: Having the theme to 'Knight Rider' as your ringtone.
More embarrassing: NOT having the theme to 'Knight Rider' as your ringtone, but recognizing it anyway.
Those of you who have not yet had your annual Mimi fix need to hustle your butts. We have four weekends left. Lurk is in China for the next two weekends, but Hilby arrives tomorrow, and Lurk returns for the final two. Rumor has it that Puke and Snot will appear. The Arial Angels have landed, but so far the patrons remain safe.
The weather continues to be spectacular. I'll see you on site. You won't need me to wear a red carnation; I think you'll manage to recognize me.
24 September, 2007
Monday List
...talking without speaking/ people hearing without listening...
I guess he went quietly.
Any last words?
Let us observe a moment of silence.
He had been looking pale.
Old age: the silent killer.
That's one box he won't escape.
(Sounds of Silence; Simon & Garfunkel)
I guess he went quietly.
Any last words?
Let us observe a moment of silence.
He had been looking pale.
Old age: the silent killer.
That's one box he won't escape.
(Sounds of Silence; Simon & Garfunkel)
10 September, 2007
Monday List
broken glass
torn Trojans box, empty
carved wooden staff
safety pins
slightly soiled washcloth
room service card
a single sock
year old Hustler magazine
a dirty diaper
Agatha Christie's Murder In Three Acts in Russian
nine pages of floor plans
white T-shirt, size large
a Google map to Georgetown
three phone numbers with no identifiers
mouse droppings
orange stuffed toy
two condom wrappers
loose plaster
catering director's business card
an empty envelope
chained doors
package of cotton balls
milk crates
torn Trojans box, empty
carved wooden staff
safety pins
slightly soiled washcloth
room service card
a single sock
year old Hustler magazine
a dirty diaper
Agatha Christie's Murder In Three Acts in Russian
nine pages of floor plans
white T-shirt, size large
a Google map to Georgetown
three phone numbers with no identifiers
mouse droppings
orange stuffed toy
two condom wrappers
loose plaster
catering director's business card
an empty envelope
chained doors
package of cotton balls
milk crates
06 September, 2007
More Delicious
...See the sky in front of you/ and her face is like a sail/ speck of white so fair and pale...
More narcissism follows; I suggest quite strongly that you cease viewing this post immediately.
IMG_2045
Originally uploaded by wkk_1999
arm to the sky
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
judging eyes
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
hpim5095
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
Mimes
Originally uploaded by wastrel
Again, major props to the photogs who visit Faire and shoot us, posting colorful carnage on Flickr. The Engineering Nightmare has been captured. Reactions welcome.
(She's A Rainbow; The Rolling Stones)
More narcissism follows; I suggest quite strongly that you cease viewing this post immediately.
IMG_2045
Originally uploaded by wkk_1999
Out of the Box on the grounds, heading to the Wine Garden. (Mmm, wine.)
arm to the sky
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
Huge flowers, small children, and a patron.
judging eyes
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
Details.
hpim5095
Originally uploaded by Morningstar1369
Manoevering through the throng in the Engineering Nightmare.
Mimes
Originally uploaded by wastrel
Observe the hugeness.
Again, major props to the photogs who visit Faire and shoot us, posting colorful carnage on Flickr. The Engineering Nightmare has been captured. Reactions welcome.
(She's A Rainbow; The Rolling Stones)