24 November, 2005

Shah, yathink?

...Our space songs on a spider web sitar/Life is around you and in you....

“No, but the lights, people put them up early because the scenery’s so monochromatic. It adds some color.”

The thing is, late November is about subtlety. It’s about appreciating the soot on slate on silver of cumulus on sky on water, or the smoke on dun on charcoal of cirrus on sky on asphalt; the difference between cold, not so cold, really damn cold and almost warm. It’s about mornings wrapped in shimmering fog that turn into fretful sleety afternoons and cold crisp light on concrete. It’s paying attention to which days are dreary and which ones are dismal. It’s the brief pause when the motherfucking rain takes a breath before resuming its relentless drumming. It’s the color of your breath on the air, subtlely different from the color of mine.

Demetri Martin is on Conan. He looks more like a fourteen-year old than a standup comic in his torn jeans and Ringo Starr haircut. "I saw an ugly pregnant woman yesterday," he says. "And I thought, good for you."

You may not think Vin Diesel is funny. In fact, you may not think of Vin Diesel at all. Personally, I find the very CONCEPT of Vin Diesel funny. But here are facts about Vin Diesel that I never knew.

Funny how everybody goes apeshit over black and white bears. Here they are, cute with a capital C and more than one u. Yes, cute, cute, Cuuuuute.

Oddly enough, Publication DQ
comes through with the goods
. Scroll down, but enjoy the grammar lesson and the Political Animal hatemail while you’re at it.

Some seriously funny shit happens in Washington DC.

(What? WHAT? I thought it was funny.)

“My wife’s family is coming for the holiday. They’re mostly retarded.”

If anyone else was talking, I’d think you were being insulting.

“No. Retarded is a medical term. Big difference between being retarded and being a retard. They’re spelled the same, though.”

I let the spelling comment pass.

So the family’s retarded, but your teenager’s friends are retards?

“That’s about it, yeah.”

And you thought you were going to find some sappyass shit about how grateful I am for allathatthere.

(Let The Sun Shine; HAIR)

5 comments:

Cattiva said...

OK, I think that's oretty funny, too!

Hope you had a fabulous holiday!

Cattiva said...

pretty funny...I meant Pretty - sheesh! :)

Cybele said...

Thanks, Catt. I did have a good holiday. I liked your 'centerpiece.' Cute with a capital c and more than one u.

Glad I wasn't the only one to find it funny.

Anonymous said...

Vin Deisel is no Chuck Norris, though. Chuck Norris can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying "booya".

Paul said...

Dammit. That anonymous person was me.