Dress Code

...You -/ Can dress in pink and blue just like a child....

It's nice to come in third place, (Yaay, me!) and there's even a cash remuer- renumer- uh, prize. (Did you think Primarily Decorative was on PERMANANT vacation?) Here it is.

Please come see Do Or Die's production of Slay Ride at the Chesapeake Arts Center. I promise I won't wear a beret, and neither should you.

Now that I've gotten the shameless plugs out of the way, here's a post.

We are at a movie theatre. A group of people have come in costume. This is not as disturbing as the fact that the costumes of the adults are more elaborately accurate than those of the children. I assume the Harry Potter outing is a child's birthday party; possibly it's not.

I suddenly think of people listening to me complain about Day of Wrong. One frowns at me.

"What is proper dress code for a Renaissance festival?" he asks. My face changes shape several times, I can feel it. I puzzle over the question, because I've never really thought about what standard dress IS; I just know when I see it what it isn't.

There is in fact a fairly strict dress code for the performers, crafters and general staff of the Renaissance Festival. For the patrons, not so much.

Appropriate wear: cutoff jean shorts and a tank top. Golf shirt and khaki shorts with sneakers or boat shoes, either gender. Peasant or pirate blouse and leather pants, either gender. Jeans and a t-shirt from your favorite Ren performer: Hack and Slash, the Skinny German Juggle Boy, Renaissance Man, Puke and Snot, Sinius Vice, Mike Rose, The Rogues, Stupina...or any one of a number of Maryland Renaissance Festival shirts, or indeed a shirt from any Renaissance Festival.

A shirt that says I Can't Even Think Straight. A shirt with the name of your favorite team, your favorite beer, your favorite brand or your favorite bar. If you wear one that says Kiss Me, I'm a Pirate, beware, for there are those of us that will. A camisole top and a peasant skirt is appropriate, if you're female. Or a peasant blouse with too tight jeans, high heeled boots, big hair and a floral wreath. The costume you bought here last year. Or last week. The costume you spent the last nine months building with your own hands. The costume you bought at Wal-Mart last Halloween, if you're under fifteen and were a fairy, a princess, a fairy princess, a pirate, a knight, Robin Hood, a crusader, or a dragon. Unicorns also acceptable.

Biker wear. A sweatshirt with nothing on it at all. Your kilt. Chain mail. Jeans and sneakers and a velvet vest, with or without something underneath. Fake fur. Real fur. Nearly anything plus a cloak. A black mesh shirt, plaid skirt, knee high socks and Doc Martins, but only if you're wearing eyeliner and black lipstick, either gender. A clown suit pushes the boundaries, but a jester outfit is fine. Nearly anything plus a hat. Velvet tights. Flowing skirts. Tight skirts. Low heels. Sandals. High heeled boots. Swashbuckling boots. Tattoos. Multiple piercings. Short hair. Long hair. No hair. Military uniform, if you’re in the military. A suit of armor. Elf ears.

Not appropriate: Storm Troopers. A chain leash on your lover. A Tigger suit. Bedroom slippers. Silver makeup. Ghostbusters. Wifebeater and boxer shorts. Prosthetic noses.

Dress carefully. Mimi's watching.

(Steppin' Out; Joe Jackson)