01 March, 2006

My Rants

....Whatcha gonna do with all that junk /all that junk inside that trunk ...

First thing: Do the BlackEyedPeas make music at all, or do they exist simply to sell stuff on TV?

GWB 's attitude about our ports is pissing me off. I refer you to DanTobin's funny post of sadire. (I think you've coined a new term, Dan- for satire so dead-on that you wish you were wrong) and this whole energy breakthrough bullshit? Ugh.

Drilling in Alaska, war in Iraq, (don't even let me start) and now he claims we’re having an energy breakthrough? Hello? None of this is new technology. It's old technology, firmly sat upon by the oil/auto industry, who purchased most of the patents, like, a million years ago. And Dubya smirks as though it was his idea.

Asshole.

From the Tiny Little Pet Peeves Department: I don't use a blowdryer. Well, not hardly. I haven't used a blowdryer more than four times in the last two years. I can't stand the noise. So how is it that the little girl, having recently discoverd that we own a blowdryer, comes into the bathroom to use that noisy goddamn monster WHILE I'M IN THERE???

Moving to the local arena, I don't think I'm alone in my feelings of affection towards WillieDon, the former Mayor of Baltimore City, the former Governor of Maryland, and Maryland's current Comptroller. Maybe I am. Even so. I am tired of him taking so much heat.

The Animal insists that it is inappropriate for the third most powerful man in the state to behave in this way.

Please. I’ve about had it with political correctness. Get over it, already. Let an old man be an old man, ferchrissake. In what way would it have hurt anyone for the 'little girl' to have glanced back over her shoulder, winked at the Comptroller and said, "You just wanted to watch me walk away again, didn't you?"

Grr.

More grr, grr that possibly only someone who tries to teach English to public school students would understand: Birthday Boy says, "Well, you ARE the only person I know who would make a special call for a misplaced apostrophe. Since you're up here all the time, I would have figured you'd mention it sometime when you happened to be here anyway. But a special call? I m not calling you crazy, just, uh.... extreme."

Am I? My hero, the excellent Lynne Truss, doesn't think so. She has met with a man from the Apostrophe Protection Society.She knows the origins of the Apostropher Royal. She discusses public displays of ignorance:

I also began to notice an entertaining law of public signage: wherever an apostrophe is required, it is left out; wherever an apostrophe is not required, it's put in. Look around. It's an infallible rule. A sign outside an apartment block will say "RESIDENTS REFUSE TO GO IN THE BINS", whereas a sign in a garden centre says "PANSY'S READY".


These will get right by Mr., Mrs., or Dr. Average Joe, but if you asked "And why shouldn't they?" and "For what?", then I greet you as my true sibling of spirit, especially if you made mental corrections automatically.

So why am I tortured daily by all you peple who think you can punctuate but can't? And the rest of you, who think punctuation isn't important? No, you're right, it's not. No more so than manners, or traffic laws, both of which seem optional or at least arbitrary in adherences. Most folk don’t know an apostrophe from their asshole. But I do. And I can't stand seeing them misused. Misplaced apostrophes leap out at me from page or screen, raking their curved little claws down the blackboard of my mind, giving me absolutely the screaming fantods. And there's no reason for it! Again, the heroic Ms. Truss:

The confusion of the possessive "its" (no apostrophe) with the contractive "it's" (with apostrophe) is an unequivocal signal of illiteracy. The rule is: the word "it's"( (with apostrophe) stands for "it is" or "it has". If the word does not stand for "it is" or "it has" then what you require is "its". This is extremely easy to grasp.


So whether you're ignorant or simply careless, don't expect me to overlook it. I'm psychically incapable.

Oh, and? Enough with Dick Cheney's hunting accident already. Yeah, he shot somebody accidentally while hunting. Shit happens. It was just a lawyer, people.

Finally, from the That's More Like It Department:

"Hey, sweetheart! Yoo-hoo! Helllooo, Pretty Lady!"

I do eventually turn around. An elderly truck driver is standing outside of his truck waving at me, drawling some nonsense that I'm supposed to find flattering. I wave back and grin, then turn away.

I'd been leaning over to put things in the trunk of my car.

It IS my best side.

(My Humps; BlackEyedPeas)

3 comments:

Paul said...

"So whether you're ignorant or simply careless, don't expect me to overlook it. I'm psychically incapapbe."

I cite the Hound of Cullen's Law: any post criticizing the spelling or grammar of another post will itself contain spelling or grammar errors.

Here's the proof in action. *grin*

(BTW, I too am a Militant Grammarian. Improper use of the apostrophe irritates me to no end.)

Cybele said...

Shit. This is what happens when you sit in the sun with your laptop... You can't see your spelling errors and typos.

Fixing, fixing. Thanks, Paul.

Paul said...

Heh. I was just messin' with ya, my friend. But it is hilarious just how often that happens...

Meanwhile, though, I agree that it's a rather obscene joke that the tard in the Oval Office is going on about new sources of energy, when the Dutch have been using wind power for centuries and fuel cells were used on the Mercury missions. The thing that I find most insulting about it is that he thinks that the people are stupid enough to believe that line of shit. Yes, we will use other souces of energy, when we have no choice- but at least be willing to acknowledge that it's old technology that we've been sitting on for decades or more.