11 April, 2007

What Hump?

...lookin' at my lump, lump/ you can look but you can't touch it/ if you touch it I'ma start some drama....

Once upon a time, 'hump' was a noun, used to describe a mound, a tiny hill, a large lump, or the thing on the back of a camel. Or a dromedary. Which is what most people think of when they think of a camel. Yes, that camel you're thinking of? It's actually a dromedary.

I don't know when young attractive humans began to have humps, which were in the past reserved for old crones and hunchbacks, but pretty whatsername seems to be enjoying hers.

I am a self-employed artist, so 'hump day' bears little relevance for me, though I understand the concept. A sign outside a bar advertises "Hump Day Specials", so apparantly 'hump' is now an adjective, as Satur- or Senior Hook are adjectives that modify 'day'.

Some other artists display their works here, in a Washington Post contest that expected only 'a dozen or so' entries. Yes, it's little humps of sugar-covered marshmallow in improbable colors, Ladies and Gentlemen, The Peeps Show!

As the Political Animal points out (WITH a Nixon/Watergate reference, thank you very much!)in today's column, The Post used to publish real news. Now it's all fluff.

From the Well, Duh! Department, this surprisingly late decision by the African medical community.

On the other hand, there's certainly no shortage of humans. Why do anything about AIDS at all? (So says the woman who makes her living pretending to kill and die.)

Emily Flake's cartoon is also ghoulish today, though she makes no reference to a hump of any sort.

I was early on aware of the verb form of the word, which is now so deeply ingrained that whenever I pass a roadside sign emblazoned with the words 'Speed Hump', I take it for a directive- appealing but impractical, as obviously, I'm driving.

And here is all hump, all the time.

In Taro Gomi's fun book, Everyone Poops, the claim is made that "a one- hump camel makes a one-hump poop. A two-hump camel makes a two-hump poop. Just kidding!" Since it's a translation, I don't know whether the original Japanese was 'dromedary', 'camel', or 'fabulous imaginary creature', since I don't know Japanese for any of those words, and neither camels nor dromedaries are native to Japan anyhow.

I also don't know Japanese for 'hump'. In any sense.

(My Humps; Black Eyed Peas)

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