04 August, 2005

Final Answer

...it gets so hot the end of the day/ you may find your clothes getting in the way....

Apologies to Robert, who has waited very patiently for the answer to this question, last of the original five he posed.

(5) What is your favourite topless activity? Try to explain to the uninitiated skeptics what the joys of toplessness are.

I don't have a favorite. Topless, it's all good. Everything.

Explaining to the uninitiated is tricky. It's distressing how many of them there are.

To be toplessness is to be connected with 180 degrees of sky. It's exciting. It's stimulating. Your senses interact with your surroundings in a way that's not possible covered up.

It makes your body tingle. Moving from blazing sun to the coolness of a wooded area, or having heat tempered a few degrees by the passage of a drifting cloud becomes a highly tactile, even sensual, experience.

The nose goes into overdrive: hot donuts, hot asphalt, exhaust. Fresh water harbors, steamed crabs, cows, fried chicken, fields of corn, sweet briar rose.

The view is better topless. Clouds unfold to fondle your face, and stars tease, dancing in the darkness.

Your head swirls and your ears reach out to big hair rock from somebody's radio. Tires croon against concrete, clatter over cobblestone, shriek on steel gridwork. Snippets of conversation drift by, and the cries of babies, gulls, and heavy machinery. Note the song of birds, crickets, or the wind whistling round the side mirrors.

To be topless is to be submerged in a sensory environment exponentially richer than that of the boxes in which we normally stifle ourselves. Everyone should try it. C'mon, I'll drive.

How was that, Robert? I've been working on it for more than a month, since before I answered Question One. I knew it would be hardest.

I assume you meant the car.

Because there's only marginal difference between Topless and Totally Naked Yoga.

(Strip; Adam Ant)

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