08 June, 2004

Comic Cues

...Beggin' on my knees/Baby, won't you please/Run your fingers through my hair....

Truckers who are bored (for anyone who wondered) will send out a salutation via CB radio: "I ain't got no paaaaaanties onnnnn..." then wait for responses. Funny? Yes. Also funny is this man, who waxes rhapsodic about ladies' undergarments. Both of which suggest I am not too tangential in my underwear habit. I might even be, gods forbid, mainstream. Horrors.

"We baked cake."

My oven's been broken since last summer.

"In the toaster oven. It was good, too."

Damn, that's funny.

"Sure, why not?" he says. I'm a sucker for Sure Why Not, as my favorite word is Yes.

(That's a lot of green. We're gonna walk it down the rail. Watch this.)

"Cut it," he says. Yes. It's too long. I know.

(A cue-tip above and you get follow. A cue-tip below and you get drag. Not Q-tip, cue-tip.)

"Self-indulgent," he says. Yes. I knew as soon as the script was finished, but we were already in rehearsal. Also, I have a close personal love relationship with the young actress playing the part.

(There's left English and there's right English. Stop it. I haven't yet mastered plain English. The language.)

"Pat Nixon could go," he says. I know she could, always knew that. I'm trying to achieve some gender balance.

I'm bandying words, analyzing comedy, building limericks and, oh, yes, playing pool with yet another from my Stupidly Pathetic Over Him collection, who has in the past been competitive, and who is at present indulgent. My claim with pool, as with bowling, is that I'm no damn good, but fun to watch. I hate games, couldn't care less about winning, enjoy the activity for itself. I'd rather play pool than watch baseball. Or hockey, the televised sport I did not watch.

"Your lyrics aren't clever," he says.


Even though he's right, ouch.

Kumquat is NOT the funniest word. Banana has three syllables, and therefore is funnier than kumquat which only has two, despite the repeated K sound. Okeechobee is funny, because long E is funny. Calliope is overdone with four syllables, and has the K at the front and the P at the end, which is the reverse of what it ought to be. P is funny, but K is funnier. Pocano qualifies, and has three syllables, but the effect of the K sound is diluted by the round sound of the O. Therefore, even though it has only two syllables instead of three, "pickle" is the funniest word.

Although I will entertain the idea of alternatives.

Discuss, if you wish.

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