...Dear Sir or Madam, will you read my book/ it took me years to write, will you take a look?....
My first best-seller? Robert, bless your ass and all your other bits, don't even joke about that. I mean, this is IMPORTANT. I hope that my first best-seller will be about a bookstore at the beach. Beyond that, I'd rather not say. I've started it, and abandoned it, because I have no idea how long it takes to finish a novel. I started working it as a stage play because I used to be able to knock a play out in about nine months. It's going on two years now. Not that I've been working on it the whole time, because I haven't. But that wasn't what you asked.
It will likely be dedicated to my husband, who is dedicated to me, even when he seems to be ignoring me, which is probably just me being bitchy and high-maintainence.
No 'probably' about it.
( Paperback Writer; the Beatles)