24 March, 2004

Pitiful Again

can't stop the spirit when it needs you
this life is more than just a read-thru
(the red hot chili peppers)

All things being unequal, I've grown accustomed to the idea that I occupy a smaller portion of his heart than he does mine.

(Once, I called him on my birthday, so he wouldn't feel badly about missing it, not that he would have. Not everyone has a brother, and most that do, haven't had the luxury of choosing. Why I chose a red-headed Italian Scorpio for a brother is beyond reason, beyond imagining, but hey, that's what love's all about, right?)

I called him on Opening Night, but only got voice mail. I left a message.

Surprise, surprise, he left one for me on Sunday evening, wanting to know how Opening Weekend went! Gave me courage to call, perhaps find him at home.

Which I did, and was overjoyed (oh, yes, all out of proportion, I know...so what?) to chat with him for more than his usual two-point-five minutes. Just hearing his voice, ahh... he talked about work, his wife, his plans, the Faire ( he wonders why I don't do a show with That Girl, did not dismiss out of hand the notion that Firespiel might make a return)....then I made the mistake of saying "I miss you."

And that was about the end of that. Still, maybe he'll show up this weekend. He didn't promise.

But it did make me brave enough to make another call, one that I was certain would yield a cold shoulder, at best, and an answering machine at worst.

It was somewhat warmer than I had imagined.

Life. So full of surprises.

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