20 May, 2004

Irritation, Anticipation

...there's only one thing that I know how to do well/and I've often been told that you only should do what you know how to do well/and that's be you/be what you're like/ be like yourself....

And of course there are days when I want to throw my arms in the air and say, "Oh, fine, fine, just kill me now, I have no idea what any of you people want from me anymore, and probably never did. Here are my wrists, who's got a knife?"

But I'm not here to whine.

Okay, I am.

But I won't. I'm changing the subject, with my hat off to people who do that more deftly than I ("your segues are sledgehammer non-sequitors") can manage.

I've had a couple of discussions recently about my parents, who are interesting people. I used to waste a lot of time wishing they would be who I wanted them to be, and managed to figure out how to let it be okay with me for them to be exactly who they are.

Figuring out how to let it be okay. THERE's a loaded subject. Where's my Apostle now? Wait...is my phone ringing? I think it is.


On the up side, BuddahPat and sushi await this evening. And I burn, burn, with the everpresent ubiquitous question....

What shall I wear?

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