04 May, 2004

The Pendulum Swings

...however far away, I will always love you/however long I stay, I will always love you...

The Apostle calls, intrigued by the cryptic message that I needed to hear his voice.

I seek comfort, reassurance. Instead, he confirms my darkest deeply held secret belief. Damn.

"That's what I think, too," I sob into the phone.

"You need to tell him."

I did, the last time I got to this wrist slashing ledge jumping point of heartbreak. He justified his position, and made promises. I backed off mine and despaired. And nothing changed.

He promises to call tomorrow night, as his flight to Kuwaite? - (he said, I don't remember)- is being called. Maybe he even will.

Today the sun in its brilliance fooled me into putting on A Little Nothing straight out of the shower. After taking out the garbage and the dog, I realized it was a bright face on a cold fish.

At least it's not raining.

Update: Black thong with white stitching, showing off my toenails, painted to match the stone in my toe ring.

(Yes, it's my shoes again. Though I did have to put on underwear when I realized the Little Nothing wasn't going to work today. Okay, lace hipsters, already. Jeeez.)

Go visit Diablo Cody today. Fuck, that girl's funny. Her rockin' fiancee Jonny is also a hoot. Just go, I tell you.

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