29 May, 2006

Swimwear Optional

...She got famous doing tricks underwater/ She'll do the scuba till your boat won't go....

There was the PreParty Cleanup Party, The Party, and the PostParty Brunch and WashingUp.

Of the PreParty Cleanup, I must say this: there were lessons learned.

Lesson # 1: "Auntie Coco has done the unthinkable and actually asked for help. We have to teach her that when you ask for help, you get it."

Lesson # 2: When you get a bunch of freaks on the job, strange surprises are to be expected.

Lesson # 3: A couple of kids can be a hellluva lot more useful than even they think they can be.

Lesson # 4: Some people have weird taste in outdoor decor.

Lesson # 5: Scrubbing a bathroom is much more entertaining when done with your favorite pal.

At The Party, memorable quotes, including:

"Mama, you need to lose weight before you wear that bikini." -Fuzzy

"Your daughter asked intelligent questions. Not kid questions, either. Intelligent questions." -Blanche

"I don't know if I'm good or bad. I haven't decided." -TekChik

"We were all impressed by some of the things your son wrote in his journal. He's quite imaginative." -the Pest

"Cybbie, come help us wake up BirthdayBoy. Go vamp him a little." -the Prince

"Your butt gets any bigger, I'll have to declare you Black." -the Animal

"I can put makeup on him. I'm qualified to do that, you know." -HelpMe

"Hey, come here so I can turn that swimsuit into a thong for you." -Coco

"She's wearing what? I'll be there in thirty-five minutes." -MightyJoe

"Whoa, this is early. Usually Cybbie's kids are gone before people start getting naked." -BuddahPat

"BirthdayBoy's hogging the toilet. I think he passed out on it." -Sparkey

"Who wants a blender drink?" -Tiberius

"There's some serious water displacement from those boobies." -Coco

"Get my man. I'm done." -DesdemonaOne


"The kids are officially gone! ADULT SWIM!" -Lance

For the PostParty Brunch and WashingUp, I ride over in the convertible, and the weather is fine. It's a great day for sunning, swimming and tidying up in a bikini, mimosa in hand. "The yellow one," BuddahPat decides when offered a choice. He's partial to the polka dots, I think. Peppermint Patty objects. "I haven't seen the pink one yet." The season's just begun, sweetie.

The Mermaid arrives, and I convince her to borrow one of my suits so she can float on the pool with me. After awhile, she decides she's ready to learn to swim. It's only taken three years. She does well with the mechanics, and just needs some practice. And, best, she busted through her fear.

"Let Cybbie hold you up. She won't cop a feel. Or, maybe she will, but at least she's not Max."

Mermaid laughs so hard she doesn't even mind swallowing a bit of pool water.

(Skindiver; Crack The Sky)

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