Spam Sandwich

...pull out some Fritos corn chips/Dr Pepper and an ole Moon Pie....


No, I don't want any Viagra. My penis is exactly the right size. I don't need (or believe in) a Free! Vaio computer. I don't read my horoscope very often; I certainly don't want to subscribe. My mortgage is okay, and you can keep your insurance. Chinese pictograms, Spanish and Portugese are a mystery to me. I have no idea what it is you're trying to tell me. Cheryl Martin, you are a pisser for giving my e-mail as your own when filling out some damn form or another. In my next life, I will get you back. Or this one, if I can figure out how.

Dental Care, Classic Movies, Chipolte Qdoba, Free Home Depot Card, Burger Bonus, Bed And Bath Sale, Brazilian Diet Promotions, Lirpap, Coke v. Pepsi, Olay Regenerist, GovernmentGrants, Designer Handbags, Conformation Request, Paris Hilton, Hoodia, All Homeowners, LookYounger, Printer Ink, Ephedra, OpinionsGetPaid, Energy Boost, Shipment Notification, Amusement Park Offer, and Hot Housewives Tonight fail to entice me.

Other complaints: After suffering unemployment, a long breakdown, an unplanned trip to California for unfun reasons, the hasty accquisition of a tractor that needed immediate repairs, a missed paycheck, a slipping transmission in the Tanmobile, an uncashable check, and the beastly heat, the central AC quit three days ago. We've been sleeping in the basement.

And feeling damned grateful to have one.

Yet, I will be of good cheer, for tomorrow marks the soft start of my RenFest season: Youth Camp day at PARF! For the first time, I also work during their regular season, Opening Weekend. The Entertainment Director (the fourth in six years) made the pot sweet, plus I still have a weekend free between PARF and MRF's Opening.

Pass the turkey leg.


(Junk Food Junkie; Larry Groce)